How to avoid Pain

Today Ladies and Gents i'm going to show you how to get rid of Pain, the question everyone is asking for.
First, we'll start with physical pain. You will need an astronaut suit with heavy duty padding. Now this suit can NOT protect you from being hit by a car. But that leads us to Step 2 of avoiding physical pain and that is never going past 100 feet of your home. You can avoid germs, cars, bikes, and people, so you are set. j

Now for emotional pain, which honestly folks is everyone's least favorite. To achieve this you will need to go out and buy every book you can on any subject you want to learn about, then get rid of your computer, your television and your windows, because letting the human race inside can only cause damage. After you've stalked up on the books, stalk up on food. Because if you never leave your house again you will starve unless you have a life supply. So get all the goodies you need, so you will NEVER leave your house. After you are stalked up, fake your death so everyone will leave you alone. Remember, this is most important, PEOPLE = PAIN. Even if people don't try to hurt you, sometimes they will, and sometime people DO try to hurt you, so better to be safe then sorry.

Honestly the best thing to do to avoid pain, better then any of those steps, STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE. It's amazing how if you just stop taking risks, stop falling in love, stop moving, stop feeling, ANYTHING you can't feel pain. Because if you can't feel love you can never feel hate. If you can't feel joy you will never feel sadness. If you can't feel Life you can't feel Pain. Because Life is Pain, and it is BEAUTIFUL.